Happy (belated) Blogiversary to me :)

Once again I have been neglecting my blog and now the 1 year anniversary from my first published post has been and gone – oops!  In my defence I have been rather busy doing things like study, socialise, volunteer with St John, make stuff to sell at markets and things and, of course, not being able to leave the house due to symptom flare-ups.  So all in all a productive month I think!  The dysautonomia stuff is being its usual lovely roller coaster but I am in a much better place with it than I was this time last year.  My medications seem to be helping stabilise it a bit and my cardiologist is, as always, amazing.  I have an exercise physiology session once a week with an awesome group of POTS girls which has proved to be entertaining so far – we have more classes that don’t end in hospital visits than ones that do and there is usually a fair amount of giggling and chattering during exercise.  I know the general theory is if you can talk you’re not exercising hard enough but it’s not that kind of exercise – it’s more pilates based using a reformer and other nifty machines.

But enough of now, this is the time for reflection, for looking back to 1 year ago and seeing where I was, what I was doing and how far I have come from there.  Well I think we can safely say I have travelled quite a distance.  Just over a year ago I read a book, a very inspiring book – a book that made me want to travel across the globe and walk in the footsteps of thousands upon thousands of others throughout the course of history.  In just over one month it will be a year since I got on that plane at Tullamarine bound for Europe and glory in the form of the Camino.  I had no idea what to expect, what wonderful (or otherwise) things would happen, what I would see and experience, what I would learn about both life and myself or who I would meet on the way.  I had been to Paris before so that wasn’t a huge leap, I was meeting up with family so it wasn’t really outside my comfort zone and I had a basic grasp of French (degraded over years of neglect from an intermediate grasp of French!).  The bit that came after would be the challenge.  I was so caught up with the excitement and magnitude of what I was about to attempt that I didn’t really think about what would happen when I was finally on my own – out in the world, in a foreign country whose language (beyond ‘Hola’, ‘Grazias’, ‘Buen Camino’ and ‘donde esta cajero automatico’) I didn’t know.  And how in the hell was I going to walk that far every day?

Some days now I don’t know how I did it, when I can hardly move from fatigue or when I can hardly stand because my heart runs a marathon and my blood pressure slowly gives in to the pull of gravity when I do it seems a bit surreal.  Did I imagine the whole thing?  But no, I was there, I have the mark on my arm and my name on a certificate that I can’t read to prove it.  Prove it to myself and the world so I never forget what I can do, what I have done and trust me, with something as crappy as a chronic illness like dysautonomia you need it.  And I really need to go back to the studio and get it touched up!  Oh, and I also have this picture!

The Camino was life condensed.  You could live a decade in one day – I am still not completely sure how or why but it happened.  You almost need a day of rest and reflection after every day of walking just to take it all in and do it justice.  And for anyone wanting to get a taste of the Camino without leaving home then the movie ‘The Way’ has just come to Australia.  Directed by Emilio Estevez and starring Martin Sheen it is a beautiful story about loss, grief, and really finding yourself in the most unexpected place.  I highly recommend it 🙂
Even though the part that I walked doesn’t actually feature in the movie – it’s been completely skipped over which is frustrating!  And sad as Galicia was beautiful in the spring, but I guess when you have over 800km to chose from you can’t have it all in the movie!

Better get back to work – I have a stall at an awesome market tomorrow and need to get some stuff finished!  It’s ‘Worn Wild’ – the alternative fashion market that comes to Melbourne twice a year.  I am so excited to be part of it this year!  Here’s a flyer – check it out!  And if you’re interested here is the link to my facebook page for my accessories company – Cherry Pie Accessories – which will hopefully be a company soon instead of a hobby!

That’s all from me today
Buen Camino everyone 🙂

I have confidence in sunshine, I have confidence in rain… Part 2

Sorry for the delay, the silly season got the better of my organisational skills!  So here are the final 5 steps for improving confidence including one bonus one for lateness!

6.  Treat yourself.  A bit like number 5 but also a little different.  You need to feel loved and special and if that means treating yourself to a massage, spa treatment, shopping trip, day off, holiday, puppy cuddles, sleeping in or something else you’ve been wanting to do for ages but didn’t have the time or didn’t think it was important enough – just do it!  Yep, we’re using the Nike slogan but that’s because it’s good!

7.  Learn to say NO!  This one is a pretty big undertaking and rather important.  If you have been pushed around and taken advantage of for years it can be hard to change the trend.  If you need a bit of help the issue has been addressed in many movies – ‘27 dresses’ is one of my favourites for this!  It may not sound difficult to a lot of people but it can be, think back to number 5 and remember to put yourself up there on your list of priorities.  Start with something small and simple and work your way up from there.

8.  Express yourself.  A lot of us often find that in the heat of the moment we have trouble saying exactly what we want to say to people who have upset us – this is completely normal!  It’s hard to say exactly what you want to say when emotion is involved, it’s way too easy to get caught up and forget your words!  So take a step back, think about it for a while and then come back and say what you have to say.  There is nothing wrong with re-addressing an issue later down the track once the heat has gone out of it.  Think clearly and concisely about exactly what it is that you want to say; exactly what you are upset about and why or what you want to talk about and why.  Try to separate the person from the action, it is very important so they do not feel like they are being unfairly targeted and respond in kind which can result in a bit of a kick to your confidence.  Emotive statements are great for getting across how you feel without sounding like you’re attacking the other person – for example; I feel sad/angry/hurt/offended when … happens/when you… so I feel offended when I believe there is racial prejudice going on at work.  And use specific examples.  It is important for people to understand how their actions impact on you – they may be completely unaware they are having any effect on you whatsoever if you never say they are.

9.  Practice, practice, practice.  Who hasn’t heard that one before!  Well it is important, the more you work at something the easier it becomes and the better you get at it.  You don’t have to suddenly throw yourself in the deep end, build up to it slowly and instead of avoiding situations of conflict, public speaking or other situations that make you nervous expose yourself to them slowly and make sure you’re prepared – not over prepared because then it is just as likely that you’ll keep getting prepared, be convinced you’re never prepared enough and then not do it!  Whenever I have to perform or speak in public, or even answer a question in a meeting or class I still feel a flutter of nerves but the more often I do it the easier it becomes.  12 months ago I went on a cruise with friends and there was a karaoke competition.  The first song I performed I couldn’t feel my legs – that used to happen to me a lot and I realised that I was just out of practice.  By the final round several days later I was dancing on stage during a musical interlude in my song (and I didn’t even know the song).  Practice, practice, practice!!

10.  Don’t sweat the small stuff!  Kinda along the same lines as ‘stop second-guessing yourself, point 4).  Lets face it, confidence goes hand in hand with stress and that little voice in the back of your head that worries about everything; what people think, what they say, whether you made the right choice, whether you are going to make the right choice and so on.  The saying ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’ is very appropriate but I prefer ‘don’t stress about the things you can’t change and focus on what you can’.  You can’t change the weather, you can’t make your tram run on time, once you submit that completed application you can’t make them pick you.  AND if you paint something the wrong colour you can always change it later, if you take a wrong turn you can always retrace your steps.

11.  (A bonus one!)  No one can do it for you!  No one is going to make your decisions for you, if someone stands up to someone else for you it’s not really going to solve your problem and make you feel better and when you do you’ll feel great in the long run (admittedly the first couple of times you might feel a little ill from the nerves and adrenaline but after that passes you can congratulate yourself!).

There are many situations out there that can affect your confidence and courage and many types of situations that can do the same.  Bullies range in severity from those who physically bail people up for money etc to those friends who unknowingly wax lyrical about a particular issue they feel very strongly about ad nauseum without realising they are making others uncomfortable or upset or just plain annoyed.  Taking this on, sticking up for yourself, questioning unfair treatment by others and making yourself heard can be difficult; particularly if it is not something you are accustomed to doing for whatever reason.

For me, many of the experiences I had growing up that shaped the person I am today were also completely confidence shattering and it took a long time to recover.  To put it briefly – a lot of shit happened and I learned from it because I was able to, because that is the person I am and the view I have but not everyone is the same.  I hate the saying ‘what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger’; it’s ridiculous.  Tell that to a victim of abuse, someone who has had to flee their country to avoid persecution and left their family behind, a mother who has had to bury her child or someone suffering from PTSD.  It’s not helpful in the moment so just don’t say it.  Some things that are hard we can learn from, we can become resilient.  But sometimes, some people just break and they’re allowed to, sometimes shit just happens and there is no sense in it and nothing good to learn. Humans are resilient but most of us can’t do it on our own, I couldn’t and there is no shame in asking for help.  The most important thing to do, the very fist step to becoming confident and happy is to be brave and say ‘I CAN’.

The market!

2 sessions of Mickel therapy down and my general outlook has become far more positive, as has the number of hours a day I am able to remain upright and be productive (yay).  This could also be a bad thing as my house steadily fills with gorgeous creations of the fascinator kind but thankfully my application to hold a stall at the South Melbourne Night Market has been approved!  Yes, you will be able to find me (and my wares) on a Thursday evening for the next 3 weeks from 5:30pm onwards at the South Melbourne Market under the name Cherry Pie Accessories – check out my logo, what do you think?

My list of fabulous creations includes fascinators and other hair accessories and jewellery, a lot of which can be found here, on my facebook page.  And just in time too as the Spring Racing Carnival has already commenced for 2011 and has several more weeks to go! Here’s the flyer for the night market, past precedent suggests that this will be a fantastic event

I uploaded a photo of one of my fascinators last week and got some wonderful feedback, thanks everyone.  There are 3.5 days till Thursday so I hope to get a few more done once I figure out my display.  Till then, here are a few more – what do you think?

My white foam mannequin head was looking a little grubby (how is it that white manages to pick up so many mystery smudges?) so I decided to paint her – unfortunately the resulting hue looks a little sickly and as such I have come to the conclusion that her name should be Lenore.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 12 other followers

Twitter Updates

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

%d bloggers like this: